I am washing the dishes when I deeply scrutinize the word “enough” in my mind, and numerous thoughts come together. A few days ago, I just came up with this topic accidentally when I heard my sister reading a post on Facebook. The post flutter around the word — ‘enough’. After she read the post I could not stop blabbing about it. My mouth would not stop running, not until I choked. I was betrayed by my own. No choice. Anyway, I have been wandering around with this word for almost days. I am beyond curious, and I started bombarding myself with these questions:
Why do people are so obsessed with making themselves better? When in fact, you will be never enough. So, what is the point of seeking betterment? Seriously, why do we need to better? Why do we need to be enough?
When the virus flew away from China to the Philippines in the year 2021, is when I passionately vowed to myself that I will pour my heart and soul into my studies because that was the last year me being a high school student. I wanted to clinch the highest recognition. However, the time is fleeting and along with I didn’t realize I wasn’t able to live up to what I vowed before. I constantly ask myself (not my teachers) why am getting low remarks (though it wasn’t that low) when I’m doing what they asked me to do (not that often). That is why, when I graduated I didn’t feel what I am supposed to feel that. What a big disappointment am I?
Dreams are not Absolute
It might sound familiar because I got the idea from Einstein’s quote “Time is not absolute”. As cliche as it may sound but is free to dream”. Indeed, dreaming does not does us a million dollars. Dreaming does not cost anything, it takes nothing. We can dream as much as we want to. However, if there are any disparities in dreaming that would be not all of what you dream is fixed and attainable. No one can tell when, where, and how will that dream come true?
When I dream of attaining higher recognition, I thought it was fixed (I do think that way). I consciously think that my dream would transform into reality, but I was wrong all this time. Dreaming means accepting the uncertainties, the unevenness of time, and the limitations. Dreaming is a responsibility.
I was blown away from my seat reading Manson’s book — The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. From that day, I realized how I wasn’t able to prepare myself for something beyond achieving what I desired. I was just obsessed with looking forward to results, not the struggles. I was too focused on the triumphant to the process itself.
There is something that we need to think about. Among covens of well-established individuals, no one took the short-cut road. They pass through difficulties. They struggled. They cried so hard. They fought for something. All of these are testaments that all of us are meant for something greater than what we are.
I was running for a college interview. I was asked “what if your teacher remarked you as a failure, how would you take that? I responded, “Failure is inevitable, it is given. But if we put our mind for something greater, we will achieve greater too”.
People, including myself, seek more because they feel that they are not enough. There is a mere difference between being enough for yourself or being enough for other people. And we will never be enough because we are constantly seeking more. Being enough doesn’t exist. We seek more because we want something to change. We want progress to be better, not to be enough. If you think of being enough, you will never be better.
After all, we are all just human creatures We are adapting. We are changing. And change does not seek for ‘being enough,’ it seeks the gap within ourselves that hinders us to be better. It’ll never be okay to lie in mediocrity when you deny that you have it within you. We need to be better because it is the only way to move forward in life. Do not even bother yourself thinking to worry. You can worry but not that much.
